If you’re feeling distant from a partner or loved one and want to reconnect–you may need to:
- look at your partner with beginner’s mind
- do the scary work of emotional vulnerability
36 Questions is structure that can help you with these common sense, yet often elusive practices. These questions were developed and tested by psychologists. The results? A pair of strangers fell in love.
“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.” -Mark Twain
“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” -Benjamin Franklin
“The [person] who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” -Chinese Proverb
Wow, time flies when you’re having fun! Here are my major business updates for November and December 2016, I:
I enjoyed a webinar with Richard Schwartz, developer of the Internal Family Systems therapy model. The IFS model grew out of other family therapy models that examined “roles” each family member inherits in reaction to each other & the family’s overall needs. The IFS model examines various “parts”, or roles, within a person, often developed within confusing family dynamics. For example, an individual is likely to develop various “protector” parts and other parts that are “exiles”–parts that express impulsive or other unwelcome behavior. In the IFS model, healing occurs as each part is attended to with curiosity and awareness. When the parts are understood, they relax and trust a well-informed leader–the “self.”
Schwartz’s IFS website: Center for Self Leadership
The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California Berkeley curates videos, articles, and podcasts about happiness. The short videos are presented by prominent researchers, therapists, business leaders, and educators. They include a wide range of topics such as “How to check in with Yourself” and “The Biology of Mindfulness and Compassion.” There are hundreds of happiness videos here. The information is not a substitute for therapy–a process that can investigate specific traumas and the complexity of a person’s unique life. However, the videos can help people remember their wisdom and encourage action.
A perfectionist can become paralyzed or restless, with the sense that they can never do enough. Confidence is based on trust–1) trusting oneself to take reasonable action and 2) trusting oneself to handle the results.
I am currently taking an introduction to Improvisation Comedy class. Improv is a fun way to practice…
- awareness: it’s hard to keep people’s attention if your own attention is wandering
- listening: respond to a group story rather than one’s own preoccupations
- acceptance: in improv, you working as a team–and other people have some weird ideas
- healthy risk-taking (AKA healthy vulnerability): it gets the dopamine going; it builds competence and resilience
In this 6 minute talk, Drew Dudley explains how leadership does not require particular titles or a specific amount of economic or political power. He discusses the sometimes unknown, yet profound, influence of everyday people.